All of you can know sometimes I hate, anger my best friend so much. And you know it that he is NOT perfect at all. From scale 1-10 I will give him only 6. I have my own version of best friend and he cannot even close to this. Keep asking on myself nothing really special at all from him. But now I realize so far he always giving me great direction, a wishdom. Now I realize I hate him coz he was telling me the trurth. Make me angry coz he is right. Now I didn't realize I just pass it on his kindness. Just like he always told me. He just didn't know it but I'm so grateful for him. This moment I so grateful but next moment all of you can read how mad, anger, hate him so much haha. I wish you knew buddy how grateful I am, lucky I am having you beside me. I know thereis no forever in my vocubulary word of life but every single time I pray to my God I always pray that He will always taking good care of him, his entire family and thanks God for having you

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it's time for me to step back, hold on and figure it out, fix it by myself. It's my own problem i have to face it on my own. Make a promise to myself that i will never concact them anymore.

just realize how lucky that person who can live his/her own dream every single day, time such a HUGE bless. I wish they know that. I can't even asking for a minute, a hour, a day or a week just for a while is such a bless i am. Anger inside! On myself

I know it is so STUPID down, sinking by feeling. But I'm just the ordinary hukan being has a heart, a feeling. Trying hard to be positive but I can't

Sinking into "Hold my heart" by Sara bareilles. Tears running down from my face. Deeply sorry I have a huge problem with feeling lately. A big hole (empty) inside. Just wanna cry for no reason. The truth is I think I felt so hollow

"A Ha moment". I didn't realize that lately i'm so mad on myself. Me, my best friend and our other friends hang out together. And there is one issue that i know forsure that i CAN'T do that. While my best friend and the other friends talking at one point i'm so MAD on myself why can't i cross that line? Become demon? Evil? So it would be easy?. May be i don't really think seriously about that but i just didn't realize that at one point at myself i'm keep pushing myself to be that person so it would be better for other specially for my best friend? days days i keep mad on myself. Now at this moment God giving me that light. Hey what is wrong with you? Sinking by feeling? Give me a break dude!. You are who you really are, take it or leave it as simple as that. Just be who you really are?. God once again please taking good care of myself not because of someone else but for myself

"Fix You"

may be a bit suprising that i'm kindda faithfully man specialy on my believe. I am a moslem. I'm not that perfect but i'm so loyal to my faith. May be you just cannot believe that until now (thanks God) that i'm never doing something really went wrong on my faith. You know what at this modern world hold on to your faith is so hard to do, not an easy task. Honestly lately i was thinking why can't i be just like the other! The evil one? The freedom one? A bit interesting though on my mind but now i reallize I AM WHAT I AM, i'm NOT that perfect but i willing to fix it no matter how wrong is that. May be i can be with you or you can be with me BUT that is okay may be it's not our path our way. Go your own way so did i. Now all i can pray to my God "God i know i'm not that perfect but will you ALWAYS taking good care of me? Will you. Please".

i hate this feeling. Tears running down from my face. It's like there is a big hole inside my heart. So hollow, so empty. Trying hard to be positive but i can't..

i can't get you outta my head. I miss hang out with you, already..

just realize that for all this time i was living someone else shadow. i can't do that! i have to find my own light. now i make a promise to myself that i will not start it not from my side i can selfish on myself but i can't do that to other person just CAN'T

Just watching "incompleted" by Backstreet Boys. I'm grew up with Bsb song. When they are first came up Nick's ages almost simillar with me he's older one year from me. Now watching that video, every single of that boysband getting older older so did I. Digest their lyrics, my life and yup incompleted!!! I'm trying hard to enjoy day by day by day.

you..

So far I'm doing my life for better for worst on my own. When you have been through darkest time on your own you will begin not believe on relationship. When you were happy everybody seems become your best friend, your family right? But when you were down nobody want to help you no body care right? That is the reason! And suddenly I meet him. He's not that perfect trust me. But he's willing to help me, stand beside me (I don't know only for a while or real good and great one). He ask me to stay because he willing to help me. WOW did God sending me one of his angel from heaven??? One side of me really want to stay everything seems so easy with him around me. But the other side of me "I need to be free or I will be crazy"

stay

He (my best friend)ask me to stay in here if you ask me that question before I meet him it's easy for me to aswered that question. "I am a voyager" I need to be free. Only me, myself and I. Now you were seem giving me another perspective of this whole life. I don't really like a word of "stay" I hate that word now you ask me to stay huff it's really hard for me to do (honestly)..now all I can do just giving you and my self..another extra time for me to think of.

a thank you, for having you

May be I don't have the whole world but having you more than enaugh, I'm so grateful. Maybe I don't need a billion, a million, a thousand, a hundred,or a ten but having you the only one more than enough. I'm so grateful and I couldNOT ask for more than this. I know someday it's might over but (hopely) I hope someday I will never regret it even grateful. Coz the truth is I don't beliave on word "forever" someone most of time will change and it will be over, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or may be right know. Coz who might know it forsure. But (hopely) I will never forget it that day. A thank you for having you